Bullying in sport

Posted by Liz Carnell on Thursday Sep 17th at 11:00pm

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If you think that bullying is confined to the school playground then think again.

Bullying UK gets complaints about what happens on and off the sports pitch too. It isn't just other players who are the problem but parents, coaches and team managers can also be guilty of bullying behaviour.

Football isn't the only sport to suffer but the proactive FA has done some excellent work in this area helped by the Child Protection in Sport Unit (www.sportprotects.org.uk). Other sports can learn a lot from their lead.

In 2003 under our former name of Bullying Online, we led a workshop on bullying at the NSPCC/FA Child Protection Conference in Derby and a number of important issues were raised with us.

Most football, swimming. tennis and gymnastics clubs now have child protection policies to safeguard team members and also adult helpers but:

Policies

Attitude We need to decide if some behaviour can be excused if it happens on the sports field. When does reinforcing the team spirit become bullying? Does it ever become bullying? How would we know?

Is junior sport being influenced by the sometimes thuggish way players behave at national level? Is bad behaviour in the Premier League or sounding off at Wimbledon showing youngsters that they can get away with it too?

Research In November 2002 Professor Celia Brackenridge researched young people's views of the way they saw their football coach or teacher. 47.4 per cent of those questioned said they were very happy and two thirds said their parents and carers were positively supportive but that still leaves more than half who were not pleased with the way things were going and one in six of those questioned said their parents or carers were negatively over involved.

Professor Brackenridge found that there was resentment and concern when adults were pressuring youngsters and that there was often confrontation which young people found upsetting. Neither did they like being shouted at or spending hours doing warm-ups and drills.

Some of the people who responded to the survey said that racist taunts were a regular experience and that they thought they just had to put up with it.

Are we making unreasonable demands of young sportsmen and women and would those demands be tolerated in another setting like an orchestra or drama club?

The role of the coach and support staff

Fair criticism or ridicule? It's fair to say that someone hasn't had a good game, to criticise their technique, but this can have other consequences where someone's performance is held up to ridicule in front of the team.>

You might have a young person, who's perhaps already being bullied at school, going home in a distressed state, and perhaps being ridiculed again by the same people bullying him or her at school. What follow-up is there after a match or training to end on a positive note?

Coaches need to recognise the achievement of the players who are never going to be stars but for whom a place in the team is a real achievement and something they can look back on with pride. Can some of the less able youngsters who might not otherwise get a place in the team help out in other ways so that they're not excluded?

Pressure or bullying: Relegation looms, or the chance of the cup could be snatched from you. How much pressure are you putting on the team? Are there individuals coming in for a harsh lash of the tongue, the goalie who let in one too many, the striker who seems to actually be on strike rather than getting the ball in the net?

Winning is important but having a good time is just as important. People who lose games might be unlucky but they are not 'losers' and there's always another match, another season.

Constructive or destructive: People want to do well, encouragement is good, brow beating is not. How do you tell the difference? Do you ever stop to think about the way you've spoken to the team?

Bootcamp attitude: We've always done things like this and we're not going to change now. I'm in charge and what I say goes. Do you run your team with ruthless efficiency? Is it a happy team?

Do you mouth off against opposing teams in a way that makes you appear a bad sport? Is it respect or are people afraid of you?
Fair to girls: Professor Brackenridge found that girls complained they weren't taken seriously and that parents reinforced that attitude by shouting at their sons not to let girls tackle them on the field. Do you check any of this behaviour?

Fair to minority groups: So how many young Asian or black players do you have in your top teams? How many turn out for you to play on a Sunday morning in the park?

How do you deal with language difficulties with them and their parents? Do you have anyone in your club who can help with that? Are youngsters whose first language isn't English being put off joining local clubs because they appear to be exclusively white?

Fair to yourself. Do you sometimes feel bullied yourself? Don't forget your own needs in this too. You don't have to put up with abusive and aggressive parents. Inform the police if necessary if you feel intimidated by their behaviour. Consider writing something into your behaviour or anti-bullying policy to deal with them.

The role of parents Pushy mums and dads: Professor Brackenridge's research showed that many youngsters give up football because of the stress of parental pressure, the shouting and taunts from the touchline.

Football development officers have been very fed up with parents' behaviour with mini soccer being turned into a mega stress with a 'win at all costs' attitude.

Team managers need to look for the parent taking the game more seriously than they should, shouting vociferous encouragement from the side, displaying excessive disappointment at the missed goal and of course outright abuse or invasion of the pitch should never be tolerated and neither should abuse between rival team parents in the heat of the game.

If you're a parent think about the example you're setting to your child and other families.

A friend of Bullying UK who managed a youth soccer team in Leeds told of one match where there was so much trouble that the police had to be called and they refused to let parents leave until they'd taken their car registration numbers. On another occasion when he substituted a player, the substituted boy's father, who was a linesman, threw down his flag in a display of petulance and shouted to his son: "Come on Thomas, we're going home".

The sports mad father may be pushing his son or daughter very hard and making unreasonable demands. Parents need to know that they can be guilty of bullying too and that constructive criticism about the effort they put in is acceptable but personal negative comments are not and neither is punishment for an off day.

How to spot a bullied young person in your sports club The worst fear that youngsters have is that they will not be believed. Bullying UK had an email from a girl who wanted to give up sport because she didn't think her PE teacher would believe that her team mates were bullying her.

The second is that telling someone will make the problem worse. They may worry that they'll lose their place in the team, that the coach will call the team together and raise the matter publicly, leading to humiliation and distress and worse bullying.

Often children don't tell their parents that they're being bullied. Sometimes they don't want to upset their parents, they may be afraid that their parents will cause trouble or they might hope the problem will go away.

If they're being bullied by the coach they may think they have no choice but to put up with it.

Here are some pointers: How to spot the bully How to deal with the problem

So how big a problem do you think bullying is in your club? Or aren't you sure? Unless you're approachable and vigilant you may not know about any problems.

Perhaps people are complaining to each other behind your back. Perhaps you don't have an adequate complaints policy. If they're unhappy with you as coach perhaps people think you'll investigate yourself and they don't have any faith in that. Perhaps they're just voting with their feet.

You need to think about having a written complaints policy which is regularly revised and updated and covers not only youngsters but also adults.

It should explain exactly what will happen when someone makes a complaint of any sort, who will run the investigation and what that investigation will involve.

It should outline that complaints should be made in writing, will be dealt with within a set timescale and that the person complaining will be told the outcome in writing.

If you make things more formal it will make people think twice before making frivolous complaints and it may also give them more confidence that their concerns will be taken seriously. Having a written record is also vital if there's a serious complaint.

It would be a good idea for parents to be given a copy of a complaints policy and a bullying policy once a year.

Dealing with bullying

So why should you take bullying seriously? Between 16 and 20 pupils a year kill themselves due to school bullying. Bullying UK regularly gets up to four children a day telling us they are suicidal now or have tried to kill themselves in the past.

It isn't a matter of WHETHER another teenager will kill themselves but WHEN.

Apart from the terrible distress to a young person, the consequence of not dealing with a problem is bad publicity. Children leave the team, parents don't want to be involved and word gets out that this is not a team to join because it has an unhappy atmosphere. Ultimately, a parent might take a grievance to the Press.

But be careful not to promise what you cannot deliver. Too many schools tell parents they will put a stop to bullying but they don't and that leads to disappointment and anger. Better, if you're the sports team manager, to say that it may take time to deal with the problem because there's rarely an instant solution.

Parents need to be told if their son or daughter is being accused of bullying on the pitch. They won't like it. Bullying UK gets many complaints from parents saying that their child has been unfairly accused of being a bully for standing up for themselves.

What they fail to understand is that sometimes this behaviour can be seen as aggressive and bullying by others. You'll also find that parents round on the coach and become unpleasant. Many parents are unable to accept that their child is causing a problem. Sometimes you can see that the bully's attitude has come from home!

Make sure the policy explains that this is a 'telling' club like a 'telling' school. This means that the bystanders have an important part to play.

If the victim is too afraid to say anything then the bystanders all know that it's not telling tales it's their duty to tell the coach what is going on. Nearly all bullying is witnessed by other people. Make sure you give all members of the team a way of contacting you, perhaps by email and make sure they know that they can raise any bullying issues with you.

When you get a complaint of bullying the policy should make it clear that you're taking it very seriously, that the victim and the alleged bully will be questioned and that both sets of parents will be involved.

Explain the timescale for action.

Ask the victim what he/she would like done about the problem. Often all they want is for the bullying to stop. The parents may want the bully thrown out of the club and you may have to explain that this can be dealt with in other ways.

Sanctions /h3>

Think about the sort of sanctions that can be applied in clubs, they need to be realistic, given the age of the youngsters, they need to be fair, and they need to be easily understood and implemented.

Clearly not every bullying incident should result in expulsion from the club. Different sports may already have different guidelines. The governing bodies of gymnastics and swimming may look on things differently to those in soccer or netball.

In soccer, clubs will already have rules laid down by the county FA and probably the junior football league. They may already have advice about what behaviour merits an informal warning, a formal warning about future conduct, suspension from membership for a time or expulsion.

It may also be wise to incorporate something into the bullying policy explaining what will happen if the decision is disputed. There are two sides to every story.

If you haven't actually seen the behaviour being complained about then that leaves you open to a visit from irate parents and the problem can quickly escalate into a six-of-one and half-a-dozen of another situation in which you can't decide who is telling the truth. It does show the importance of having someone else, perhaps a panel of officials, who can hear an appeal against any decision made at club level.

Record what you have seen and heard and what other witnesses have told you. Take advice from someone more senior in your organisation. Consider getting incident report forms of the type used by some schools if you don't already have them.

 Bullying is very isolating.

Once you have identified and dealt with the perpetrator you need to consider the victim, how to build up his or her self esteem again, offer support and reassurance, perhaps assign another team member as a buddy.

You also need to keep an eye on the bully and make sure the bullying isn't continuing in a secretive way.

Regular policy reviews are a good idea Regular reviews of policies are a good idea to make sure they are still relevant and still working.

You may be able to nip a bullying problem in the bud. Ask questions informally …. That wasn't such a good game today and I noticed that so and so wasn't passing you the ball, why do you think that was? How did you feel training went today, you seemed to have a lot to say to the goalie, what was that all about?

Always give opportunities for youngsters and their parents to talk to you, arrive at the club early, stay later, phone the parents regularly. Try to organise activities off the sports field so that the youngsters get the chance to get to know each other well in a relaxed atmosphere so that they become friends as well as team mates.

Bullying thrives on secrecy.

Talk to your team at least once a year about bullying, express zero tolerance, remind them of sanctions that can be taken against them, and make sure they know who they can turn to in the club, and outside, for help.

If you don't do things right there could be serious consequences for your club, word gets around in the community, it could cause you problems within the league and it could damage your personal reputation.

Things to include in a sports club bullying policy